Wamide’s Newsletter

Hell.  Literal hell.  That’s what life has felt like these past few weeks. Before I go any further, I have to say this - from now till the end of the year, if you see me anywhere or I cross your mind at all, kindly ask for my account number or squeeze money in my hand. I accept cash or transfer, dollar and naira.  And I’m not even joking. From one shege to another shege to another shege banza. Imagine your phone, glasses and heart breaking on the same day.  First, it started with malaria. I felt sick to my bones and couldn’t even get up from my bed. That morning when I was struggling to go to the hospital for my injections, my phone fell and got broken. As I was scrambling to clean up the mess, my glasses got broken too.  So, I was blind and phoneless. Couldn’t call anyone as I had no phone and I could hardly see anything too. That was the first day in over 14 years that I left the house without my glasses. I don’t know how I managed to get a new one that even...

 Few days ago, a friend told me that my life was a movie - and if we're being honest, it truly is.  There are some things that'll happen to me, and my first thought would be "which kind life be this" .  Any other person would believe I was joking if I explained these scenarios to them. However, my friends are aware of the dramatic nature of my entire life. Every single day comes with its own shege.  I was very hungry one night, so I went to get shawarma. As I was about to place my order and pay for it, a young man behind me was trying to get my attention but I obviously wasn't interested in holding a conversation. In the usual pattern of a man who doesn't understand the word NO , he kept pushing. After several failed attempts, I thought he left me alone, but the next thing he said was "Ashewo, shey na because I wan collect your number you dey form for person. Who you be sef. Ashewo"   I started laughing immediately because I knew he had nothing else ...