Happy Mumu

-



https://spotify.link/9D1CKKi3wyb

I need you guys to listen to this song before you read any further. 

When Stanley Okorie was writing that song, he had me in mind. Because that’s exactly what I am. No single iota of shame in my bones. 

I hate the mushiness that comes with catching feelings. (Maybe hate is a strong word, but you know what I mean). 

Let me tell you how I know whenever I am finished:
  • I’ll be on my own o, then your text just pops up on my phone and I start smiling sheepishly 
  • I constantly have you on my mind 
  • I always want to be in your space. It doesn’t even matter if we’re doing anything or not, I just want to be with you. Something as simple as running errands together is enough to make me happy 
  • I start looking forward to calls or texts from you
  • I feel so comfortable around you and I want to be babied
  • If I start thinking of getting things for you, even if it means sending you lunch 
  • I’ll be going about my busy day at work and I randomly have a flashback of how we were cuddling, or the smell of your perfume when I hugged you, or how you held my hand while driving
If it ever gets to the point where I include you in prayers, that’s the end. I’m a gone woman. Then I start talking to myself like “Is it really a man that’s making me happy like this?” Big girl like me, craving a man’s attention. What a shame! 

I love how all of these emotions come naturally to me when I genuinely have feelings for someone. That calm, gentle, sweet side of myself that it brings. I’ve never had to fake interest in what they do and I pay attention to the things they love. A happy mumu is what I am. Lover girl till the end of time. 

But it is scary. The vulnerability that comes with it. I know I’m about to open up to this person and make them see a side of myself that I’ve always kept under lock and key. It’s scary, but I do it anyways. 

I do it because, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt so far in my life; it’s that there are no regrets, there are only lessons. 
I do it because it’s hard for me to hide or pretend about how I feel, especially when it comes to things like this. The worst thing that can happen is heartbreak. 

I know you might say I’m stubborn or foolish, but there are LOTS of people out there like me. People who love wholeheartedly, people who can’t pretend to be what they’re not. This “hard guy hard guy” thing has never and will never be for me. 

And if you’re like that "hard guy", avoid me. 



Toodles 

Na mumu dey fall in love. Always Guiding 🙏🏻


Popular posts from this blog

Adulthood: The Place Where Streaks Go To Die

-
There's a way life will stress you, you will end all your streaks, cut your hair, or in my case - forget you're a writer. Moving out was step one in my “ I'm finally a big girl”  delusion. (Yay, independence!) Congratulations to me and only me, it wasn’t easy. By the time I sat down to calculate how much money I’ll need to furnish my space, I was in shock for almost an hour straight. Please don’t ask me about the price of curtains and mattresses because hot tears will roll down my cheeks! What on earth do you mean by I’m responsible for my wellbeing? When did that one start? How old am I?  I feel sad for my mom now, because I call that woman at the SLIGHTEST INCONVENIENCE.   “Hello mummy, how do I get to VI from Surulere?” “Hello mummy, I’m just coming back from work and there’s traffic everywhere” “Hello mummy, I don’t know what to eat this night” “Hello mummy, I’ve been having headache all day” I know she must be SICK of me (sorry not sorry😂) My friends are scattered ...
Read more

2024: The One Where I Chose Peace (And Better Glasses) - Life, Love, Lessons.

-
  Hey, It has been quite some time, hasn't it? I know I've been MIA for a good chunk of this year. Defended my final year project (which I got a big, fat A on btw), Graduation (this barbie is a graduate o, finally! Once again, Asuu is mad), and working multiple jobs... it's been A LOT. But hey, we're here, and looking forward to what's next.  Now, let's get into the good stuff.  This year really was something, to say the least. Starting off heavy, I severed ties with something that had been draining for a long while, which eventually became too cancerous. Sometimes, you realize that walking away is the strongest thing you can do.  On the flip side, I also rekindled my bond with my mom, and we've become close friends, sharing secrets (mostly doing amebo sha) and laughing over the silliest things. It has really been nice to have her in my corner. Now I have made her realize she's dealing with a proper adult, not that clueless 14-year-old version of me she...
Read more

Where Are You Running To?

-
Hey, it’s me again.  Oversharing on the internet so you don’t feel alone in your chaos. When did you become Usain Bolt? You’ve secretly turned into an emotional sprinter. The second something starts feeling deep or serious, you lace up your imaginary running shoes and vanish. And I get it. Life has dealt you heartbreaks, disappointments, betrayals, and random incidents that left dents on you. So now you guard yourself like a bouncer - nobody gets in no matter who they are. You call it “protecting your peace” but half the time it’s just fear in disguise. The fear of being seen, fear of being hurt again, fear that this will end like that other thing did. You probably don’t even notice how fast you run. That relationship? The moment there’s a disagreement, you’re already rehearsing your dramatic exit speech in the shower, when all it might actually need is one honest conversation (and maybe one deep breath) to work through it. (Lie that you’ve not done this before. Well, I have)...
Read more

I Am The Winner, Not Them

-
You know what nobody really talks about? The kind of depression that lets you function. The kind where you're showing up. You're getting dressed, taking pictures and posting highlights. You're laughing at jokes and being the friend people actually want around. You're being a good daughter, a good sister, a good partner, a good colleague. You're going to the gym and doing your skincare routine like clockwork. You're checking every box society says you're supposed to check. And somehow, nobody realizes you’re falling apart, not even you.  I’ve been there for months. I was functioning  so well that I almost convinced myself nothing was wrong. I'd wake up and go like I was on autopilot,  just moving through the day and performing a role I'd memorized too well. Get dressed. Show up. Do the work. Smile. And the weird part? It actually worked. Or so I thought  But inside, there was this black hole. A literal void that no amount of productivity, self care, r...
Read more