Adulthood: The Place Where Streaks Go To Die

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There's a way life will stress you, you will end all your streaks, cut your hair, or in my case - forget you're a writer.

Moving out was step one in my “I'm finally a big girl” delusion. (Yay, independence!)

Congratulations to me and only me, it wasn’t easy. By the time I sat down to calculate how much money I’ll need to furnish my space, I was in shock for almost an hour straight. Please don’t ask me about the price of curtains and mattresses because hot tears will roll down my cheeks!

What on earth do you mean by I’m responsible for my wellbeing? When did that one start? How old am I? 

I feel sad for my mom now, because I call that woman at the SLIGHTEST INCONVENIENCE. 

“Hello mummy, how do I get to VI from Surulere?”

“Hello mummy, I’m just coming back from work and there’s traffic everywhere”

“Hello mummy, I don’t know what to eat this night”

“Hello mummy, I’ve been having headache all day”

I know she must be SICK of me (sorry not sorry😂)


My friends are scattered everywhere now (they’ve always been, tbh) and keeping up with them requires more effort than it used to. Conversations have evolved from everyday gist to “Come and tell me what you think about this business idea”

I’m so glad the few ones I have around me realize that we’re no longer kids and can’t keep doing the same things if we want to grow. We’re all big girls now, and no one must be caught slacking. And, we're all more interested in each other's lives than ever before. There’s nothing like having your girls in your corner. Nothing. 


Meanwhile, living on my own has shown me that food doesn’t magically appear in the fridge, neither does toothpaste magically appear in the bathroom.  I actually have to repeatedly buy it, over and over again, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I can’t even lie, it’s madness. Where even is the time to cook this food that I speak of? 

My budgeting strategy involves tracking every expense for three days, then abandoning it completely until guilt drives me to start again next month. Imagine calculating every naira I spend in this Tulumbu era? Do you want me to run mad? 

I tried it for a while and had to give up because I genuinely didn’t want to go crazy seeing the grand total at the end of the month. (I cannot actually come and go and die. If my card declines anywhere, I’ll wash plate)


The secret that nobody tells you about this thing is that we're all just making it up as we go along. Behind one perfect aesthetic home tour is someone who just shoved three weeks of laundry into the closet. That person who seems to have a perfect career is also googling "how to know if you're on the right path" at 3 AM.

So, welcome to the club. We meet whenever we can remember to schedule it and we all leave early because we're tired. But somehow, we're building lives that sort of resemble what we imagined adulthood might be. Any time I’m overwhelmed, I remind myself that I’m just a baby adult. An adult by all means, yes, but I’m a beginner adult. I’ve only been here for a few years and I need to give myself grace. 


Anyways, for my fitness girlies looking to lose some weight, just go ahead and register for NYSC. I kid you not, you will see results in two weeks. (I wish I was joking)

Tested, approved and trusted by me 👍🏼


Also, if anyone knows the people in charge of Mtn and Airtel, kindly let them know that they have to shut down their operations and start selling eggroll and puff puff. I don’t have the words to explain what their disgustingly terrible service has cost me. As a matter of fact, I need to write an entire newsletter on how mad I am. 


Until then, keep pretending you know what you're doing. I'll be doing the same.

Going back to watch Criminal Minds. 

Toodles 💕

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